What the fuck was I thinking?!?!

The medley of thoughts and desires in my mind right now has led me to reconsider what I really want outta my life.At times, I think things are going pretty well and at others...well, you get the picture.

Of late I've called into question some of the decisions I've made.Like leaving the students' council.I felt that I was doing the right thing till a couple of days ago and now I wonder whether that's what I really wanted to do in the first place.I mean, I so fuckin miss the stuff man!!All along I was this known guy, with people hanging all around and then I had to settle for a life of relative anonymity(not that nobody knows me), but its just that I feel a little aloof from whats happening in college.(And trust me, my class is the MOST boring class in college.)And like one of my friends said about me returning to the council, being in the council does have its perks.(read chicks et all!)

My stint with the council has been pretty memorable.Though it wasn't ideal to say the least.In the first year, I was an idiot;absorbed in spending as much time as I could with a girl that in the end wasn't to be with me.(LolZ) Half of my 2nd year too went in chasing the girl.It was only after she ditched me (a lesson i needed) that I seriously began thinking about life in general,just like I'm thinking about it right now.That's when I began actively participating in the council activities.Of course some of my peers wouldn't want to give me credit for the work I had done then (It's part of the game.Nothing personal I guess.)But according to me, I did a pretty neat job.And things seemed bright enough.

The beginning of my third year was also one in which I put in a lot of effort.I wanted the top post accorded to third years and I was a strong contender to say the least.Then, circumstances prevented me from "being seen" in college during that time.I wasn't in college.In fact, I was halfway around the globe roaming the streets of Toronto.But the damage was done to put it simply.Of course, It wasn't irreparable.But that's when all the hard work I'd put in over the last year was laid to waste.I again became the lazy ass that I've always been and stopped working completely.This, I'd say was the biggest mistake I could make.What the fuck was I thinking!?!? And dig this! The general secretary of the council became a real close pal of mine.And I mean a real close pal.He's now one of my best friends!(Asshole's havin a good time in France right now!)Anyway, things just couldn't have been better for me had I been smart enough to grab the opportunities that came my way.But like I said, I've become the laziest asshole in the world.And the worst part is, I STILL AM!

Well, these are just a few of the thoughts crossing my mind right now.Not to mention that fact that I'm ruing bitterly everything that's happened!Or rather what I've let happen.I'll never get the chance to reach the hey day that I could have reached now but I'm willing to make amends.The sad part is that I really dunno what I'm supposed to be doing!Got any ideas,anyone?